Your wedding vows are the most meaningful part of your wedding day.
They trump everything else. They’re the reason you’re spending all that time, money and energy planning this wedding. They’re the reason your guests have traveled from far and wide to share in that moment.
Too many people make the same mistake when planning their wedding: they get so absorbed in the reception – the colors, the table settings, the centerpieces, the lighting etc, that the wedding ceremony becomes somewhat of an afterthought.
Twenty years down the road, do you think you’ll care what your cake looked like?
Whether it was a 3 course meal or buffet? Do you think you’ll think back to your seating arrangement with tears in your eyes, or cherish the memory of your center pieces?
I’d say that’s a pretty safe no.
But what you WILL cherish are the memories of standing up in front of your friends and love ones, committing to a lifetime with the person you’ve chosen to marry, and sharing those all important wedding vows with one another. That’s why we’ve created this comprehensive guide to writing your own wedding vows.
We’re HUGE advocates of personal wedding vows.
YES, they can be scary, YES they can be tough to write, YES they might feel intimate and you might be a little nervous about sharing those feelings in public. But that’s exactly why we think they’re so important! Personal wedding vows are made so much more meaningful because they’re from the heart. You’re standing up in front of all the important people in your life and publicly declaring your love and commitment to your fiancé for the rest of your life, in your own words, straight from the heart. It’s an absolutely beautiful experience that you’ll remember for a lifetime.
So, are you ready to get started?! We’re going to cover writing your own wedding vows from all angles, looking at the challenges, best approaches, and giving you some great wedding vow templates to get started and make your own.
There is a TON of information here and different approaches to wedding vows. But here’s a secret: you can do whatever you want! They are your wedding vows, after all! They should reflect who you are, who your partner is, and the relationship that you share.
Here’s a quick and easy guide to writing personal wedding vows:
Write two or three sentences about each of these elements. Combined together, they make beautiful vows:
Begin by talking about something you love about your partner, or something they have contributed to their lives. This is a great spot to include an anecdote or story that brings this moment to life. For example, in my own wedding, my husband talked about the day that we met, and how that was the day that his whole life changed.
Next, include some promises. Ones that you will look to guide your marriage. These can be serious: “I promise to stand by your side, and bring out the best in you, in all adventures.” Or a little sillier: “I promise to laugh at your jokes (most of the time).” In fact, I think the best vows are a beautiful balance of seriousness and humour.
And now, let’s end it with a look to the future. What do you look forward to sharing in your marriage? What are your goals, your aspirations, the qualities you want to embody as a couple?
Wedding Vow Method #2 – Mad Libs Wedding Vow Template
This awesome template from offbeatbride.com is a great way to get some rough vows in place. Once you’ve completed the template, read through and make your final adjustments. Definitely the easiest and most straight forward way to writing your own vows we’ve seen!
[YOUR FIANCE’S NAME], on our first date we [ACTIVITY WE PERFORMED ON OUR FIRST DATE] and I felt [ACCOMPANYING EMOTION].
Over the next few months, we [RELEVANT ACTIVITY(S) FROM OUR EARLY DATING LIFE] and I realised [WHATEVER YOU REALISED AFTER DATING ME FOR A WHILE].
And then everything got awesome.
You are my [SERIOUS THING] and [SILLY THING], my number-one [VERY SILLY THING] and future [THING THAT IS EITHER SILLY OR SERIOUS], the [SAY MANY MORE THINGS HERE ABOUT WHAT I AM TO YOU, MOST OF WHICH CAN BE SILLY, BUT SOME OF WHICH CAN BE SERIOUS TOO].
And I vow, going into our lives together as man and wife, to be [WILD CARD — THROW WHATEVER YOU WANT IN HERE, OR LEAVE THIS LINE OUT ENTIRELY].
I vow to love you as you deserve to be loved: with admiration, adoration, passion, pragmatism and respect, and to treat you like the [WOMAN] that you are, even when you’re [PERFORMING UNWOMANLY ACTIVITY].
I vow to support your interests and nourish your passions: from [YOUR FIANCE’S INTEREST OR PASSION #1], to [YOUR FIANCE’S INTEREST OR PASSION #2], to [YOUR FIANCE’S INTEREST OR PASSION #3], up to and including [TRULY OUTRAGEOUS INTEREST OR PASSION OF YOUR FIANCE] and [OTHER TRULY OUTRAGEOUS INTEREST OR PASSION OF YOUR FIANCE].
I vow to remain loyal to you physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I vow to take you seriously when you need to be taken seriously, and to laugh with you the rest of the time: because [REASON IT MAKES SENSE FOR US TO SPEND MORE TIME BEING SILLY THAN SERIOUS].
I vow to take care of you when you are [STATE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CARETAKING #1], [STATE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CARETAKING #2], or [STATE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CARETAKING #3], or just when you forget to take care of yourself. [SAY SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT ME NEEDING YOU TO TAKE CARE OF ME HERE. TORN ACL JOKES ARE ACCEPTABLE.]
I vow to create a household and raise children with you as partners and as equals, and [SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT OUR FUTURE FAMILY].
I vow to [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB], [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB], and [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB] — even the ones that are [ADJECTIVE].
I vow to remain your [WHATEVER YOU WANT TO REMAIN TO ME], creating [GOOD NOUN] from [OPPOSITE, BAD NOUN], [VERB-ending-in-ING] [PLURAL NOUN] and [VERB-ending-in-ING] [PLURAL NOUN] that will make our lives [ADJECTIVE] or at least [OTHER ADJECTIVE].
And I vow to remain by your side as we grow old, to [OLD FOLKS ACTIVITY #1], [OLD FOLKS ACTIVITY #2], and [OLD FOLKS ACTIVITY #3].
[YOUR FIANCE], you are not only [ADJECTIVE OR NOUN DESCRIBING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME] but also [EVEN MORE AWESOME ADJECTIVE OR NOUN DESCRIBING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME], and that is not something to be taken lightly. I love you [OPTIONAL QUANTITATIVE MEASURE OF LOVE], and I can’t wait to [THING YOU CAN’T WAIT TO DO WITH ME, KEEP IT CLEAN BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SAYING THIS IN FRONT OF OUR FAMILIES].
Wedding Vow Templates
If you’re still stuck trying to think of exactly what to say, here are some different wedding vow examples for you to draw some inspiration from. If you find one you really like, just take it and rework its meaning into your own words. If possible, add some personal stories or connections in there too.
Romantic Wedding Vows
I (Name) affirm my love to you, (Name) as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you and love you. With kindness, unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together. I take you (Name) to be my lawful (wife/husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.
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(Name), from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one with whom I wanted to share my life. Your beauty, heart, and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be. I promise to love you for eternity, respecting you, honoring you, being faithful to you, and sharing my life with you. This is my solemn vow.
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(Name), today I take you for my (wife/husband). I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind, and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
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(Name), today I take you to be my (husband/wife). Together we will create a home, becoming a part of one another. I vow to help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me and mine for you. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old by your side as your love and best friend.
Funny Wedding vows
Groom: I, (Name), choose you, (Name), to be my wife. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout the good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put my dirty clothes in the hamper and to replace the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. I promise to remember this day with love and roses. I will love you always.
Bride: I, (Name), choose you, (Name), to by my husband. In front of our friends and family, I promise to love and cherish you through every obstacle that may come into our path. I promise to learn how to check the oil in my car and how to roll up a garden hose. I will comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win. I will love you always.
Do you take [name] to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death or zombies do you part?
Me: I do
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HER: I promise to leave my apple cores and dirty butter knifes on the counter
I promise to overdraft the checking account
I promise to complain about the kitty litter
I vow to encourage us to try new and strange things
I vow to fill your ‘I love you’ Bank every day
I vow to never use a recipe when fixing dinner
I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you
Although I will be imperfect, I pledge to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities and quirks
I pledge to lend you strength for all of your dreams
Through our union we can accomplish more than I could alone
I believe in you
HIM: I promise to forget to stack the dishes on the right and leave stagnant water in the sink
I promise to always drive the speed limit, even on the freeway
I promise to cuss loudly at video games
I vow to snuggle you as often as possible
I vow to make you really really laugh out loud
I vow to always try one bite of any meal you create
I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you
Although I will be imperfect, I pledge to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities and quirks
I pledge to lend you strength for all of your dreams
Through our union we can accomplish more than I could alone
I believe in you
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Groom
I _____, before these nutter’s assembled; take this strumpet, to be my wife, my friend, my lover, my hot water bottle, my companion in life, my enabler in trouble and my poster of bail. I will care for and protect you, nurture you and support you, and tell you when you are being a numpty and adore everything about you.
I promise to love you tirelessly through perfect times and the merely fabulous times, regardless of how often you get distracted by something shiny. I vow above all things to remain unchanged in this, even if I should; Look a birdee!, be momentarily distracted by something shiny myself.
I hereby promise to use plenty of lube before trying to poke things in your bellybutton. No promises about your ears though.
In the presence of our these nutte… err our beloved family and friends, who found us despite the several venue changes, I offer you my solemn vow to be your godlike partner and lover; in sickness and in health, despite your hippie frou frou crap. and duck squeezing and tree hugging ways.
In good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow, I give you my heart, my love, my soul.
I love you, now and fore…Birdie!…ever
Bride I ______, take you babyfaced one to be my husband, my friend, my lover, my tormentor, my companion in life and my instigator in trouble.
I will love you unconditionally, support you in your goals, honor and respect you, without TOO much sass (except on fridays).
I promise to love you faithfully through perfect times and the merely fabulous times, regardless of how often you are ADD boi.
I hereby promise to resist the urge to beat your ass when you are difficult to get out of bed. In the presence of our family and friends who insisted on bloody tagging along, I offer you my solemn vow to be your Brat in sickness and in health, despite your nancy boi whining. In good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow, I give you my trust, my love and my soul.
Non -Traditional Wedding Vows
Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, nurturing you, being there for you in all life has for us, and I vow to be true and faithful for as long as we both shall live.
(Name), I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful husband/wife, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond; a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.
I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard
These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.